Death of a loved one.

He was sick for months. Always coughing and the usual stuffs. No one really knew how sick he was until he went to the doctor. It was pretty serious. The first few weeks he only had to go and check up and they gave him some medicine which doesn't seem to work. As days passed he was getting worse. He could hardly stand. He seem to have lots of problems. He had Thyroid, his blood pressure was high, he had kidney and lung problems causing him breathing difficulties and such. All I could do was just watch him get weak day by day.  On April 24 a Wednesday he was admitted into the hospital. Since I was busy with school stuffs I could only go on weekdays to visit him. It was heart breaking to see him like that. My friends wasn't as supportive as I wished them to be but some were okay like Shahudhaan. I was always in a bad mood those days and no one seemed to understand me. Well that's how bitchy life can get aye? After 1 week my dad got admitted in the hospital. The doctor told my mother that he cannot guarantee that my dad will survive any of these. And that it was impossible to heal him at that condition. We all know the reasons why he was that sick. He was a heavy smoker. And there is one other reason which I cannot share here. But I still had hope despite what the doctor said. I always told my self that he will get at least better again and come back home.

Well you know how hopes and dreams get shattered right? My hopes got high when my mom told that his breathing problems were a bit better. Everyone thought that at least he would be able to come home. We were all very happy to hear that. But the very next day, 6 of May. Everything shattered. Since it was a Monday I was at school enjoying my self as usual with my friends. And at break time, around 9:30 AM, I was near the school office with my friends when I saw my cousin brother coming to the school office. It was unusual for him to come to my school specially at that time so I ran to him and asked him what he was doing here at this time. He asked me to pack the things and leave with him. I asked him Why and he just stood there looking at me. And again I asked him why and he broke the news. I couldn't believe it at first it was unbelievable so i stood there in shock for like a min and when my friends started to ask me what was wrong i just burst into tears. The school management and people came over to comfort me while my friends went to get my things for me. It was no help at all. The only thing that could comfort me was someone to say that its a joke and that my dads alive. I went home crying too and quickly changed to normal clothes and washed my face. And as I was on my way to the hospital all I could think was, "This must be a dream. Or this must be a very sick joke. A joke. He must be alive." And I also texted about this to my Boyfriend. As I walked near to the room I heard the Quruan playing. Meaning he was really dead. I burst into tears again. I wanted to call him and ask him to wakeup. But he was dead and there was nothing i could do other than stare at my dad's dead body. I even pinched my self telling my self to wake up from this nightmare. A little while later My boyfriend came with his friend Wiyam. And later on Azzam and battu also came I think.

Later at noon they moved my dads body to the "Aasaharaa" from and ambulance where the funeral will be held. There were so many people there. Even people I didn't know. It was really awkward with them. Luckily my friends where there haha. I spent the rest of the day at that place till 5 PM. People came and went through out the day. I was outside because seeing my dad like that just makes me .. you know?

Well anyways the funeral happened. I got lots of support from loads of friends. My Bf Mendo and his friends and people came too. But i got the most support by Sharu, Shahudhaan, haiku, eddie, my bestfriends Naufa, Rayya, Yassar, Shahuma and Ihusaan and ofcourse mendo. I got text messages too. The one that made me feel better the most were from Algo, Redhead and Shai. They made me laugh and cry too  haha, Thanks guys ^^

I didn't even eat well that day. didn't sleep well the whole week. Even now haha I guess. I had my fathers death coming but it was sudden at the same time. I never knew the pain of loosing a loved one will be this grieving. My dad was a talented Artist and a Musician which always made me feel proud for having a dad like him. Its because of him i got inspired into Metal Music and Art. He would always teach me how to draw ever since I was a little girl. My mom used to say that I was his favorite among Me and my little brother. But I dont think so, He loved both of us equally. Whenever he gets something he would always give it to us first. For example like food. He would stay without eating for a day if there is not enough food for the whole family. We never made a lot of money and always appreciated the little. He is the Best dad any one could ever get. I miss him patting my head and ruining my hair. He loved my hair short too haha.

Dad, I hope your doing well in heaven with your other child there :D. Take care, We miss you so much we would do anything is possible to bring you and brother back. You will always be in my heart dad. I love you and I will make you proud specially in the things you loved and taught  me, Music and Art. :)

<3

My dad holding me haha. Long time ago,